Love

What Is Sexual Kung Fu?

Love Is Blind. Andrew Liu in season 3 of Love Is Blind. Cr. Ser Baffo/Netflix © 2022

The newest season of “Love Is Blind” dropped on Oct. 19, and all anyone can talk about are Raven’s jumping jacks, Colleen’s occupation, and Nancy’s 100+ donated eggs. But if there’s anything living rent-free in my mind after watching the first few episodes, it’s this: what the f*ck is sexual kung fu?

If you were too busy scrolling on your phone to catch this moment, here’s the gist: contestant Andrew, 30, mentioned the term during one of his one-on-one dates with Nancy. After he humble-bragged about vacationing in Singapore and being “face to face with a lion” in Africa, he started telling Nancy about his “sexual awakening,” describing the best sex he’s ever had as “transcendental.”

But Andrew admitted he hasn’t always been “oozing sex.” Apparently, it all started in Bali with his 41-year-old ex-girlfriend who taught him everything he knows about sex — including a little something he called “sexual kung fu.”

“The ultimate goal of that is to have an orgasm without ejaculating, and there’s a set of practices, and I’ve worked on this over time,” he says. “At this point, I’m able to have sort of mini orgasms without ejaculating during sex, which is the greatest.”

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It’s fairly common knowledge that women can experience multiple orgasms back to back — and mini orgasms, at that — since women don’t have refractory periods (aka a recovery period after orgasm), according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. But there isn’t a lot of data out there that explores this sort of semen retention practice for those with penises.

To get some answers, we spoke with a sex expert about sexual kung fu — including what it is, whether or not it’s an actual thing, how to practice it, and why it’s a source of “intense pleasure,” as Andrew says.

What Is Sexual Kung Fu?

Kung fu is known as a name for various Chinese martial arts, but it can also describe related disciplines that are practiced for self-growth, according to Merriam-Webster. Some experts say “kung” stands for skillful work and hard training, and “fu” means time spent. “Together, they mean time spent on skillful work, an endeavor, or hard training,” Master Nick Scrima writes in a Chinese Martial Arts Center blog.

With that in mind, when you put “sexual” in front of “kung fu,” you can interpret the meaning as spending a lot of time on training your body sexually, as Andrew describes. (Sounds pretty fun, TBH.)

As it turns out, sexual kung fu is a thing in the holistic, conscious sex space. Erotic energy worker and founder of Reiki Bondage Reverend Rucifer tells POPSUGAR that sexual kung fu is the practice of “withholding ejaculation to maintain the essence and energy within the semen to create a more conscious, expressive, and connected experience between penis owners and their vital life force.”

Because semen retention is a main pillar of this practice, unfortunately, sexual kung fu is exclusive to those who have penises. But! If you don’t have a penis, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience the feel-good benefits that come with having a partner who is practicing sexual kung fu.

What Are the Benefits of Practicing Sexual Kung Fu?

Interestingly, preventing yourself from ejaculating could offer some benefits. For those of who’ve tried edging before — the act of repeatedly halting sexual play before experiencing an orgasm — you know exactly what I mean. Though there’s no hard evidence out there (can someone please commission a clinical study on sexual kung fu?!), Rev. Ruciver says this practice can “increase sensitivity and pleasure when orgasm does occur,” help you feel “more open and connected to your own life force,” and maybe even boost your focus, attention, and creativity.

On a more holistic note, however, Rev. Rucifer notes that “many penis owners noted feeling more in control of their own pleasure” after trying it. She explains this is because, through sexual kung fu, they are able to experience “cultivated consciousness around their sexual energy.”

Additionally, practicing sexual kung fu could help lessen the pressure to orgasm during sex or solo play. “It helps to make sexual experiences less goal-oriented and more about the full experience of pleasure that is possible outside of the experience of ejaculation,” she says.

How, Exactly, Do You Practice Sexual Kung Fu?

If you want to start “oozing sex,” as Andrew says, you can try practicing sexual kung fu. It starts with getting in tune with your body and the physical sensations that happen when you experience pleasure. The next few times you have sex or masturbate, rather than going through the motions as you normally would, really focus on noticing the specific emotions and physical sensations that arise.

It’s about “slowing down and taking the time to practice and connect with [your] ejaculation experience,” Rev. Rucifer says. You can even incorporate meditative practices and breathwork into play to feel more honed in on your sexual energy. Once you feel connected to your orgasm, you can start practicing edging, says Rev. Rucifer. This will help you to learn how to manage the feelings of wanting to ejaculate but then controlling yourself from doing so.

Then, once you’ve mastered that practice (and it continues to feel good), with the help of breathwork and guided visualization, as you are pleasuring yourself, “move the sexual energy throughout the entire body to feel pleasure expand, and circulate the energy without the need to ejaculate,” says Rev. Rucifer. Then, after you feel like you have experienced these “mini orgasms,” you may be able to experience ejaculation that’s unlike anything you’ve felt before.

Just note that practice is key here. You can’t expect to reach this place of euphoria after one or two sessions of trying sexual kung fu. As noted earlier, the “fu” part of sexual kung fu means there will be lots of time spent practicing this, and that’s OK — it’s part of the fun.

After all, as Andrew says, “once you open your mind to sexual pleasure becoming this holistic thing, and eroticism starting outside of the bedroom, it’s like an avenue for growth and also a source of intense pleasure.” Even if you don’t get to the point of having mini orgasms and earth-shattering climaxes, cultivating intention and awareness during any practice — sexual or not — is rarely a bad thing. Even better? It’s something people without penises can get in on, too.



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